The noises from above. The lack of sleep. The distraction during prayers. The irritation when someone talks. Wtf?

I hate this. I hate how things can be fine for me for a period of time and then things can suddenly get so....arghhh.

I don't know what's wrong. The feeling that there's always something around. No it's not paranoia. I've questioned myself often enough. The noises from above and the sounds from outside at night. I can't even rest on my bed without having to toss and turn every 10 seconds. I just can't sleep.

I'm tired. I'm very tired. The jog, the workout sessions, a whole day out, I'm tired. I want to rest.

I don't feel the same usual calmness I used to feel during and after prayers now. I get distracted when I want to start my prayers and during prayers. The distraction is just too much, I can't take it. I have to stop and start all over again. Not just once or twice, but up to 5 or 6 times. For every prayer. WHY.

And just that bit of her voice gets me so irritated and angry. Yes I've been warned. But I don't like it. I can't keep feeling this way. I can't let it make me feel this way.

ARGHHHHHHHHH.